According to Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, a Google data scientist, “anal sex will pass vaginal sex in porn within three years”. People are curious about watching and trying anal.
This healthy curiosity is often matched with a certain level of unease. The aura of taboo lingers, despite these sexually enlightened times. There are a few persistent myths that prevent anal sex from becoming a regular number in our sex repertoire.
Since you’re here, it looks like you too are curious to learn more about anal — yay for that! 🤗 Read on and see all the misconceptions tumble. Feel yourself easing into the pleasurable world of bum joy…
Myth: Anal sex is for everyone
It’s true, everyone has a butt hole. That means everyone has the potential to try anal sex. Whether they’d enjoy it, however, is a separate question.
It’s impossible to know for certain if we’d enjoy something without trying it. But, it’s a bad tactic to use this argument in an effort to convince an unwilling partner to try anal. The person will likely feel forced and that will taint the experience.
So, to rephrase the myth: Anal sex is for everyone who is willing to try it.
Myth: Anal sex must involve a penis
A traditional, rigid definition equates sex with penetration; no penetration, no sex! Surely, you can see flaws in this view. Let’s stop being so penis-centric, shall we? There are many ways of giving each other sexual pleasure and reaching orgasm; penetration is not a prerequisite for enjoyment.
So too with anal, there are many ways of stimulating a butt hole. Inserting a penis is, in fact, quite an advanced activity in this field! 🍆
Before trying penetration, you can explore a variety of ways to play with the anus: massaging, fingering, oral stimulation (rimming), butt plugs, playing with small dildos…
Experimenting with these less intense activities will give you an indication whether you enjoy anal play at all, and if so — happy days! 🙌— increasing the levels of stimulation incrementally will likely encourage further experimentation. It can be a good run-up to more intense activities.
Anal sex involves different types of stimulation.
Myth: Anal sex hurts
It can, but only if you’re doing it wrong. Anal sex is different than vaginal sex and therefore requires a slightly different approach.
First, the receiver of anal sex must be relaxed. Much more than during vaginal play. The sphincters (muscles in the anus) are easily stressed and their contractions can hardly be controlled; without the right level of relaxation they will simply shut down, clench, and not allow anything in.
Second, because the anus doesn’t lubricate, there will always be a need to use a lot of lube. A lot 💦 Better too much than too little. When in doubt add more lube 💦 💦 💦 You get the point.
Investing time in more “warm up”, and using different forms of milder stimulation for a start is a good way to relax the receiver of anal sex. A lot of their fears are in the mind. Verbal reassurance must accompany physical foreplay to ensure the best possible experience for your partner.
Anal sex doesn’t hurt if done correctly.
Myth: Anal sex involves poo
When we think about an asshole, we often think about defecation. Poo. Shit. That’s quite natural considering the primary function of the anus. Now, it’s true that having anal sex can lead to accidents — repeated insertions of objects into the anus generates pressure and suction, and to put it bluntly, that can lead to some poo coming out. Such is life 🤷♀️
However, once you understand the inner workings of the anus, you will be able to prevent such mishaps. The body is a system, and its dynamics can be decoded.
Spend time to understand your anatomy and you will prevent accidents during anal sex.
Myth: Anal sex is only pleasurable for the giver
Without sufficient knowledge about the mechanics of the body, without sufficient foreplay and preparation, anal sex will not be pleasurable for the receiver 😰
But this rule can be applied to any sexual activity, am I right?
Where can this myth come from? Trying to decode it will be an exercise in speculation and stereotyping, so let’s not do that.
The anus is not primarily thought of as an erogenous zone. Exploring it is often only thought to be pleasurable for a penis-owning giver. An anus, however, has so many sensitive nerve endings. Touch them in the right way, and you are in for brilliant new sensations.
Anal sex can be pleasurable for both partners if performed properly.
Myth: You can’t come from anal sex
This myth pertains to the receiver’s pleasure. In a male, or a prostate owner, an orgasm can happen by stimulating the prostate gland, much like during a finger-based prostate massage.
In females, pleasure can come from indirect stimulation of the G-spot, through a shared wall between the rectum (inside of the butt) and the vagina. There is also a potential to stimulate parts of the clitoris and the nerve endings in the perineum. Plenty of room for fun there, and yes, it is possible to reach orgasms this way. Some recipients find those orgasms more intense than vaginal or clitoral ones — a matter of preference, and body sensitivity.
Anal sex can lead to intense orgasms.
Any other myths to tackle? Let me know in the comments!
P.S. Remember the lube 💦